CONSPIRACY! - Hitler grows moustache to hide cock on top lip. - Bugs Bunny identified as JFK killer. - Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon blockbuster scientifically proven to cause bowel blindness. - Fire linked to death of 5 burns victims. - Cancer cure found on seat scrapings from No.22 bus to Hertfordshire. - Bloated elephant carcass ruptures to reveal 11th plant of solar system. - Jesus resurrected to play banjo on new Wurzles album.