Spics and Prawns may break my tomes, but herds will never group me.
What?
Pleasure be unto you for the writings and flavours of pungent mammoth sex with dwarves and foxes..
In other words, there’s a plethora of updates thrice more. Be looking at them.
Vote for me on Humorlinks you turds.
January 7th, 2006 at 6:53 am
OK Mr Squits, sir.
I have a few latest headlines for you from our hairy testicled woman.
MAN STUFFS HIS OWN HEAD UP HIS ANUS!
Yes, that is right! A man by the name of Eric Shitlebiker has entered his own head into his own bowels via. his hairy ringpiece. When asked, Mr Shitlebiker said he was simply, “Looking for Swansea.” Once Firemen had released him by using a Jaws of Death hybrid, Mr Shitlebiker said that it had been a relgious experience and that he was going out to buy a dark brown Bible. He has also given up all food except Sweetcorn, and is about to start a campaign to FREE THE PILES. However, Mr Shitlebiker will NOT stop watcing TV and is now a big fan of Shayne (who won X-Factor)
APPARENTLY, IF YOU PLAY WINDOWS XP BACKWARDS IN A DVD PLAYER, A VOICE CAN BE HEARD TO SAY: BILL GATES IS MY BIATCH
THE MOON LANDING WAS NOT FAKED BUT THE ROCKET WAS.
In an extraordinary statement by Neil Armstrong, he has stated that the fabled Moon Landing was not faked but the Rocket was indeed a fake. NASA had, in fact, developed a very powerful catapult in which the Astronauts would be prepelled on to the Moon at a speed exceeding that of light.
GEORGE LUCAS TO MAKE KING KONG SEQUEL(S)
After seeing Peter Jackson’s King Kong at the Premier in LA, acclaimed Star Wars director George Lucas, has stated that he intends to do at least two more sequels to Jackson’s new movie. In an interview in Razzle (Men’s magazine) Lucas has stated that he intends to bring Kong back to life in the sequel. Kong then ’sneeks’ through customs and swims to a secret island where he learns an anicent technique called the ‘Sauce’ Kong will eventually get revenge on his human captors by flying a spaceship into the Empire State Building and blowing up it’s Reacor core. Lucas also stated that Jar-Jar Binks WILL be in these films as Kongs new love interest. Lucas may also direct three prequels to King Kong telling the story of how Kong’s father got Elephantitis.
That is it! That is all the news for now. This is the hairy testicled woman signing off…
(Hope this spices up your site)
CU Soon -T
January 7th, 2006 at 5:52 pm
Verily, Mr T, the Hairy Testicled Woman is a boon, I applaud her for dredging the barrel of of dog cum we call news.
I also found a tantalising piece of froth:
UWE BOLL TO DIRECT NEW STAR WARS MOVIE.
In a dazzling flash of light, Uwe Boll has been picked to direct Star Wars VII: The Jedi Prolapse. In this film, Luke Skywalker has refined his Jedi powers, and is now capable of unassisted flight, unfortunately, he catches bird flu and passes it on to his sister through a blood transfusion, thus impeding the Jedi cause.
Michael Madsen will reprise his role as the treacherous Forcible Minge, the heartless, depraved, green skinned arthropod from the second film.
Harold Lloyd has been slated for a part as the dessicated corpse of Lord Vader.
George Lucas was reported to say “I am so happy that such a respected director has won the rights to produce this film, I’m such a disreputable cunt now that I have killed the happiness of so many adults that adored my earlier trilogy that nothing could possibly go wrong with the new film, not even the fact that Princess Leia is being reported as a form of gas.”
Peter Cushing was not available for comment at the time of writing, but we expect he would have said “I wuv Uwe Boll, he make me so horny, me love him long time.”
Reported by:
Po, The Teletubby.
February 16th, 2006 at 1:26 pm
hello…
um doing as u asked … *is the nutter from poker , who kept touching you for luck* *grins*
names shaz btw
nice site u have here, ive bookmarked it, soo i can read at my leisure if thats oki with you 
my email up there, is same address for MSN if u have that too
feel free to add me if u have it 
talk soon, shaz *huggggless*