Squits’ Flinching Drums

Well, you know how I get insane and then don’t again?

Well I have but haven’t. AT THE SAME TIME!

Anyway, thanks for the transfusion baldy.

I really must add something here, because thanks to Leviathan I actually got some things done, he gave me a much needed kick up the brisket, which made me create cartoons again, so there.

Also, he gave me the words to create Metal Cabbage Fucker. So blame him.. BLAME HIM!

On another note, bum, crotchet, quaver.

Cyberboing game me the words for Pirate boing dance, so kudos to her for that.

Not that you would think I need inspiration, but I do need it, like air, food, alcohol and tissues.

Anyway, what with life and stuff, with all its little peccadilloes and roundabout turns, left facing quadrupeds. half eaten pigmies, monster truck flatulence and general gravity, I decided to flatly refuse to reveal my testicles to the pope.

On a side note, I updated my sight with four new cartoons, predictably they all seem to be sucking ass through a curly straw, so this time, I will give you this warning (after I adjust my glasses to read it):

No, this one:

No, I lied, THIS ONE:

Don’t ever, EVER have sex with someone.

There, I said it.

Now, look at my site.

And remember…

NO SEX!

Unless it’s anal.

If you read this blog, any of you millions of fans, then you will now be imparted with the knowledge that my main site has had another update, with a new section, have a look here My Dreams

Hello there, isn’t it a long time since I wrote here?

Anyway, I hate you all, so I’ve made some new rubbish for you to have a look at, plus I’ve also rejigged and niggered a bit of old stuff from an old website that used to be funny, but went dead.

A bit like this site here, except its never been funny.

Check the updates page on my site for all the links.

What?

Pleasure be unto you for the writings and flavours of pungent mammoth sex with dwarves and foxes..

In other words, there’s a plethora of updates thrice more. Be looking at them.

Vote for me on Humorlinks you turds.

Hello again my nautical wizards.

I have provided you with two new cartoons on the Updates page.

The SAS one is a particularly obscure favourite of mine that I thought of while walking down to a friends house.

Happy xmas you bastards.

I’ve gone all dry in the head, I can’t think of anything really, which tends to be the worst time to create my special breed of flange-busting tripe.

Although, I must admit, the most I’ve done recently is squeeze my testicles.

What I need to do is poke around inside myself with a spoon, not an AMCO one however, as I will be probing myself in the brain, not the anus.

Anyway, I shall hopefully have rummaged around enough to stir a thought or two and create something, THE LIKES OF WHICH HAVE NEVER BEEN SEEN.

A bit like Maragaret Thatcher’s clitoris.

Hello there my little sailors.

I’ve updated the site properly now.

EVERYTHING has been uploaded now, all the pencil drawings I said I couldn’t scan and upload have now been scanned and uploaded, because I found out I could scan them in after all, simply by not being a STUPID FUCKING IDIOT!

So now my fine feathered friends, peruse the site, fucking well vote for me on Humorlinks you bastards, rate my site on there too.

Because if you do vote for me on there and you do rate my site, I WILL create a big trophy made out of bogeys and arse winnits to present to myself.

Now stop reading this and go here NOT here OR here

I’ve got some pubes trapped in my shorts, so I’ll keep this one short.

I quit work finally.

I’m bored to tears.

My man fanny looks like a doughnut.

Now bollocks.

Partridge Hasslebank (Retired)

God almighty, last night I drank half a litre of vodka and half a litre of brandy.

Talk about getting wankered.

But anyway, no progress on other cartoons yet, I’ve still got to redraw some of my others in pen and scan the fuckers in.

Please bare with me, all two of you.